An Occurence at a Fowl, Bleak Library

In celebration of Halloween, I wrote this short story.

An Occurrence at a Foul, Bleak Library

It was a dark, perhaps stormy night. Primus had been working on his project, 6 straight hours worth of toil. Now almost completed, he stretched out comfortably. “Ahh…” he thought, “October 31st, I’ve still got 6 days to finish.” Suddenly, there came a sound, from the kitchen. As he crept over to investigate, “Fwap!” A croissant flew into his face! Then, another sound- “Clink!”

Primus sprinted to his room, and was horrified to see his glass of cranberry juice spilled on his precious project. He quickly rushed over to pick up the glass when he heard the sound of his door slamming behind him. Primus spun around, but instead of seeing a door, there was a bookshelf! Turning around again, he saw tens of bookshelves surrounding him!

Peering up and down a neat isle of books, Primus realized that he was in a library. While he was still wondering how he had gotten here from his room, something caught his eye on the title of a book. “The Achievements of Kevin the Great,” he read slowly. For months he had been competing with a friend, Kevin academically, trying to achieve a higher grade. In the past weeks, he had been almost as good as Kevin! Yet, somehow, there was a book lamenting Kevin’ achievements in this strange library.

Flipping through the pages of the hardback, Primus thought, “This book must be referring to another Kevin.” Primus was stunned, however, to see descriptions about the Kevin he knew (Grew up in Fremont, CA, attended blah, blah schools…). He stopped however, when he saw a line in the book: Graduated from Harvard University with a Masters degree as a Surgical Doctor, 2017. Graduated? 2017? Primus’ surprise soon turned into panic as he flipped to the inside front cover: Published in 2024. 16 years into the future!

Primus was anguished. He was in the future! Looking around, he saw titles of “Kevin’s Achievements,” “The life of Kevin Chen,” and other biographies on his rival from 2008. Primus ran through the library scanning the “L” section (for Lam) under the biographies section. Not a single mention of himself. Picking up “The Achievements of Kevin the Great,” again, Primus flipped through more carefully. The book mentioned hundreds of great accomplishments that Kevin had apparently made. Then, his ears pricked up as he heard another noise.

A book slid off the shelf. However, instead of falling to the ground, it remained suspended in midair. As Primus carefully approached it, more books started sliding off their shelves. The first book began moving, and all the other ones followed it. A sea of manuscripts, tomes, novels, and more began swirling and flying around him their pages flipping wildly! The name “Kevin” appeared to be everywhere Primus looked. The tornado of pages grew even wilder, and the floor and all other surroundings appeared to be lost.

Piece by piece, reality fell away like a finished jigsaw puzzle being taken apart again, piece by piece. Before long, Primus was only surrounded by words, not even the flickering pages or covers, just words. He could hear sounds of a wild world, laughter, bells, a wagon, a dictionary tumbling to the floor, everything he had heard before - he heard it then. Even the words were becoming distorted now, there were colors and shapes and figures and objects, and there were people, lines, animals and plants, words, numbers, the library’s knowledge! Then, there was nothing.

“Ugh,” choked out Primus. He couldn’t see anything. Where was he? Lifting his hand to his face, he felt something flaky. A croissant? Pulling the pastry off his face, he surveyed his surroundings. He was in his home, in the kitchen, lying on the floor.


What Actually Happened

Primus, after working on his project for such a long time, became hungry and placed a can/box of Oven-Ready croissants in his oven. Because he was so deluded, he forgot to open the can. After hearing the noise, which came from a small leak in the can due to pressure expanding gasses, he went over to the kitchen. The croissant flew out of the oven (have you ever heard of the poem “The turkey flew out of the oven?”) and hit him in the face. Primus was so frightened that he fainted.

Because he had worked so hard, he began to dream crazily. He dreamed of Kevin’s superiority in the future, because throughout his time working on the project, he feared that his rival would obtain a higher score than he had. The loss of realism near the end of his dream was simply due to his delusional brain. There was so much on his mind, it all came together, and the resulting shock was so great, it woke Primus up.

In the end, he woke up in the middle of his kitchen floor with a croissant in his face, as that was where he fell asleep.

Notes and Acknowledgements

· Primus would never work six hours straight on a project due in 6 days.
· Primus doesn’t drink Cranberry Juice.
· Kevin does, in fact, want to be a Surgical Doctor when he grows up.
· Credits to “The Phantom Tollbooth” for giving me ideas for such a surreal world.
· Croissant is the nickname of Siddhant, my good friend.
· Croissants taste good.
· The title is a reference to “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge,” where the subject also dreams/hallucinates of something that is nothing like what actually happened.

Sterotypes.

Did you know that widespread genocide occurs every day?

gen·o·cide–noun - the deliberate and systematic extermination of a national, racial, political, or cultural group.

In case you didn't catch that, genocide is intentionally KILLING people based on a nationality, race, political view, or culture. You ask, "Oh my goodness, why isn't this on the news?" I agree that it should be.

But of course, these events are not physical. News reporters like physical events because it sells well. People like to see/hear about physical events where people gets hurt. Nobody really bothers to care about how people get hurt psychologically. For example, take these two headlines and ask yourself which one would you be more interested in?

"Cold-blooded killer murders middle school student!"
"Middle School student completely loses self esteem!"

Of course, the first title is more attracting. You say people lose self esteem all the time. Yes it is true. But it is every bit as bad as if a cold-blooded killer murders that person.
Sometimes more powerful then violence can be, destroying someone with words happens every day. Take two quotes from two places for examples of how people recognize that:

"The pen is greater than the sword"
~Edward Bulwer-Lytton

"And the tongue is a fire, the very world of iniquity; the tongue is set among our members as that which defiles the entire body, and sets on fire the course of our life, and is set on fire by hell."
~James 3:6, from the New American Standard Bible,

So you see, words are very powerful. Take for example, if a killer kills someone, he has taken one life. But if someone convinces another person to kill, he has taken both the person he convinced and the people he kills lives, all without directly harming someone.

Now indeed stereotyping in schools is not this dramatic. Nevertheless, you can still destroy someone's past, present, and future for himself and those who love him by making him/her lose confidence in his/herself.

This is truly a shame, as the world would be so much better for it if there were no such thing as stereotypes.

I think that almost no-one would take drugs or underage alcohol if their peers didn't force them to "fit in" or "appear cool". We wouldn't need to act in a way we aren't just to live up to other's expectations.

But the worst is when people are labeled in a group that people will have a tendency to dislike.
These people, though they may actually have nothing wrong with them, will feel that they do, and lose confidence in themselves.
They will probably become withdrawn, afraid to do things, and become failures later in life. Did you know that in people with grades in the top 5% of their school, only 50% of them graduate to college? The rest end up working at a low salary/low intellect job.

Guess what is one of the major factors to blame?
Stereotyping, particularly labels like "Nerd" or "Geek" or "Prep"

Those top 5 academic percent, feeling left out, will in an attempt to fit in, stop trying in school.
The harm done doesn't end there. The person's family will suffer from this, seeing their extremely brilliant child drop out of school and work at Wal-Mart, it may cause a lot of pain as well.

Would you rather be dead, or living in a situation where you know your life was wasted, and you have to suffer it?

It is obvious that stereotyping people, whether it is a 'cool' stereotype or a 'not cool' stereotype, can be every bit as bad as taking a gun and shooting them.

I call upon the youth of America (who still have any decency) to use their influence to save lives.
Eliminate the stupid labels/stereotyping system!

We can prevent people from taking drugs, allow people to reach their full potential, and generally improve the quality of lives. Accept and encourage people instead of forcing people to feel strained.

The power of peer pressure is in your hands.

Expectations, Competition.

Expectations.

Our world is based on expectations, both ones we make of ourselves and ones that others make of us. People like to compare themselves to others. If the person is more outgoing and arrogant, they will probably say that they are better than others and set expectations for others. If the person is withdrawn, he or she will probably see others as better than them and feel insufficient.

Some people don't think it is supposed to be that way. We shouldn't have to live according to what someone else thinks about us, or even what we think about ourselves, as compared to others. According to some.

But it defines us. Imagine what it would be like if we DIDN'T have anything to compare with. If we were all alone in a secluded little island. What would we do? How could we strive to be better? We could never become better because we would think we would be good enough.

That brings me to the second point:

Competition.

What is it really?

Is it just the rivalry between two human beings? Or is it more?
Why do people feel the urge to become better than others?
Why do we have to be that good?
Why do I have to be like that?

I think it was 'programed' into us, and for a reason.
As I said earlier, how could humans strive to be better if we didn't want to compete.

The Cold War, for example, is thought of as a terrible time. And it was. But in some ways, it was good, because it helped advance space and nuclear technology to the state it is now.

People are no different. Competition is the natural drive to improve. Without competition and expectations, we would have no reason to become better.

However, some people take it too far.
Competition is helpful, but only until it causes harm (obviously?). When we become too aware of our surroundings and fear what other people might think, we fall prey to fear and feel unprotected, vulnerable. And so, we try to conform.

Conformity is strange. It happens so often, and yet we think of it as a good thing. First of all, stereotypical groups are often considered 'cool' or whatever, so people try to fit in. But things become not 'cool' when they are overused/overpopulated.

Secondly, there is a difference between conformity and organization.
Conformity is everything in one form.
Organization is everything in order.

Conformity will turn many inputs into one output. It has one function.
Organization will turn many inputs into many outputs. It increases efficiency and diversity.

So we have to be unique, yet organized. If everybody were unique and unorganized, we would be... a really crazy mob. And before you know it, human instinct kicks in, and alliances are formed for survival and guess what the product is:

Conformity.



So, in summary, people need to understand how expectations, competition, and conformity affects their lives. They have to use it to their advantage, turn themselves into someone different yet intractable, instinctive yet intelligent.

People need to stop acting like everyone else and start acting like...
O.K., scratch that.


People need to stop acting.




Remember to check my blog for new updates often!

Thanks for reading.

Violence and Me.

Just last night I was warned by a counselor in church not to sneak up behind people and "attack" them, or hit or slit throat or surprise or hurt anyone in any way.
And its not the first time I've been warned in such a way.
I have 3 misconduct notices (almost a suspension) from violence in one year at school.
-I bruised some kid
-I broke the sharpener
-I kicked a bouncy ball into some kid's head

Why is it that I am so violent?
I know I have some self control issues.

But why?
I don't have ADD or Dyslexia or Schicophfsdhflajflehwhateverphrenia or any mental diseases (that I have been diagnosed of [yet], but I have suspicions that I might suffer from some kind of bipolar disorder).

But again, why violence?
For some reason, whenever I look at someone, some of the first things I notice aren't appearance or whatever, but points of weakness/strength, how they and others (objects or people) around them might react if whatever things occurred. Things as in VIOLENT things.

My brain just starts playing out scenarios with the physics involved in what might happen, seeing how people might react due to emotion and stuff.
And then I have an impulse to attack them somehow.

My favorite is when I'm behind someone. I imagine sneaking up to them and...

I catch myself in the thought and stop myself with the violence nowadays.
But I always manage to slip back into that world again.

I have a theory why.

Maybe it is because I like to be in control of things, to know things, to be on top of everything.
If I can make myself feel that I can defeat everyone, that I know everything, then it feels good.

Of course, I'm not that arrogant (I think) and that only occurs in my subconscious mind. But If it does, how would I know about it?


Well, I guess I have to stop thinking so much about violence and accept the fact that I am no better than anyone else, in mind or in body. It is hard, sure, but I guess I'll get used to it.

But I can't help but think that that kind of violent mind might be good in some way or another.
Maybe when some fool attacks me on the street it'll come to use.
Nevertheless, the final point is, that violence isn't that great for the mind.

One day, I fear I might lose myself in anger and if my brain starts doing what it is used to without a sane self to stop it, I might actually do something bad. Like as in BAD, bad. Then again, maybe that has already happened to me (scroll up to the stuff about my misbehavior conducts...)

It worries me a lot.
Now that I think about it, I've even hit Ryan and Alvis (if you go to my school you would know that they are some of my best friends [Ironically, that comment is for those who DON'T go to my school...]) alot.

Oh my. It is dinnertime.


Remember to check my blog often for updates.



UPDATE:
Extra Example Here

Friendship.

This is a paper I wrote in 1st grade (I used to spell friends as freinds, though I corrected them in this typed version:

"Friends Forever
Friends make you feel good. Friends care about you. If you are hurt, they will give you a bandaid. Friends are kind to you. They say nice things to you. Friends like the same things that you do. They might like stuffed animals or the same television show that you do. They may give you a gift or share their snack with you."


There is one more line. It is my favorite.

"If you don't have a friend find one"

I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote this back in 2003.
I was probably just going oh blah blah I better finish this soon.

But it means so much more to me now.
Friends.

I have a lot of friends. But I don't know if they really care.
Will they make me feel good? Will they give me a band-aid if I am hurt? Will they say nice things to me? Do they like the same things I do? Will they give me a gift or share a snack with me?

I don't know, I say.
But deep down, I know.

Real friends are hard to come across. I don't think I have any.
I know there is no one I can completely confide in.

There is no one who will look at me and care, who will hurt when I hurt, who will cry when I cry.
But the question is:

Do I deserve a friend like that?

Am I a good friend to the people around me?
How can I possibly have that kind of friend when I am not one?

I need to change.
I need to listen more, to hear more, to think more.
I want to be able to be that person. It kinda fits in with the "Superpower" post.

I want, I need, I wish.

But what can I ever achieve?
We all have heard of the story of the little blue train.

"I think I can" is not good enough.

I have to take action.
But what can I do?

I don't know.
And this time, deep down, I still don't know.

Who will help me?
Who will hold me when I fall?
Who will fall with me when they can't hold me?
Who will stand beside me in the storm?

Who?




Who is my friend?

Shields.

Perhaps you would like a coat of arms.
I make a few with photoshop.

Here are some samples:



You can't see the edge because the background is black though...

If you would like one, please comment.
Request in this format:

___________________________
English Name:
Foreign Language Name: (specify language and if you want, also specify text)
Symbol Wanted: (a simple picture or description of what you want)
Backlay Wanted: (like the 1 in the second shield. Optional)
Description Wanted: (like the "to help, defend" in the first one)
Type of Shield Wanted: (Just tell me the shape or give me an example)
___________________________

Here is what I would have written for the second shield:

___________________________
English Name: Primus
Foreign Language Name: Greek spelling of Primus, or πρωτη
Symbol Wanted: Medal surrounded by olive branches
Backlay Wanted: the number 1
Description Wanted: the first
Type of Shield Wanted: Blah
___________________________

Thanks!

Superpower.

What do you want for a superpower?

Flying?
Invisibility?
Teleporting?

Well, absolutely, those may be cool.
But I don't want them.

I think that it would be a waste to have those as superpowers.

Why?

They can be made with science.

You could make a flying machine.
You can bend light to make an invisibility cloak.
In fact, scientists have found ways to make such things, though they are still testing.
You can make a machine to teleport.
Scientists have been able to make an electron jump from place to place.


But there are some super powers you cannot make.

I want to have a powerful mind.

I want to understand and know how people feel.
I want to be able to bend circumstances with the brain.
I want to influence masses

I want to be the person who will invent a flying machine, a teleporter, an invisibility cloak.


But I don't want to know anything.


Things like a scientific mind, being a genius is only a side effect or solo effect of what I want to be.

I don't want to know.
Knowing in itself is useless.

Knowledge right now is very limited. The best scientists, the biggest textbooks, they only describe a tiny portion of what there is to learn.


I want to be the person who can expand that knowledge.
I want to be able to give things for those who follow to learn.

I want to write those textbooks, except with new material.

That is what I want to be.
That is the superpower that can never be made, never be bought, never be conceived.




Maybe one day, I will find that power in myself.