Friendship.

This is a paper I wrote in 1st grade (I used to spell friends as freinds, though I corrected them in this typed version:

"Friends Forever
Friends make you feel good. Friends care about you. If you are hurt, they will give you a bandaid. Friends are kind to you. They say nice things to you. Friends like the same things that you do. They might like stuffed animals or the same television show that you do. They may give you a gift or share their snack with you."


There is one more line. It is my favorite.

"If you don't have a friend find one"

I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote this back in 2003.
I was probably just going oh blah blah I better finish this soon.

But it means so much more to me now.
Friends.

I have a lot of friends. But I don't know if they really care.
Will they make me feel good? Will they give me a band-aid if I am hurt? Will they say nice things to me? Do they like the same things I do? Will they give me a gift or share a snack with me?

I don't know, I say.
But deep down, I know.

Real friends are hard to come across. I don't think I have any.
I know there is no one I can completely confide in.

There is no one who will look at me and care, who will hurt when I hurt, who will cry when I cry.
But the question is:

Do I deserve a friend like that?

Am I a good friend to the people around me?
How can I possibly have that kind of friend when I am not one?

I need to change.
I need to listen more, to hear more, to think more.
I want to be able to be that person. It kinda fits in with the "Superpower" post.

I want, I need, I wish.

But what can I ever achieve?
We all have heard of the story of the little blue train.

"I think I can" is not good enough.

I have to take action.
But what can I do?

I don't know.
And this time, deep down, I still don't know.

Who will help me?
Who will hold me when I fall?
Who will fall with me when they can't hold me?
Who will stand beside me in the storm?

Who?




Who is my friend?